calumberjacked:

jaclcfrost:

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whoever came up with this is probably still patting themselves on the back at this very moment

i went to burger king when they got these and the girl said “would you like some satifries? theyre really satifrying.” and the boy behind her goes “shut up” and she goes “hes not satifried with my puns.”

bullied:

mom: “Look it’s time to wake up”

me:  image

elizabitchtaylor:

she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts

she’s cheer captain and I respect her right to wear whatever she wants and participate in traditionally ‘feminine’ activities because I understand that life is not about condemning another woman’s personal choices just because she doesn’t ‘deserve’ the boy i have a crush on

tokomon:

makingmywaydownmax:

The main reason Rihanna was so unamused during the VMA’s was that she didn’t have Katy Perry by her side

i mean

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she’s only happy 

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if

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there’s

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a katy perry 

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involved

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(Source: daeneryszhavorsa)

vegan-vulcan:

You are not some kind of a saint because you “still think women are beautiful” without makeup on. You do not get brownie points for not being disgusted by women in their natural state. Some women wear a little makeup, some women wear a lot, some women wear none at all and men’s opinions about it are less than worthless. Because we don’t fucking wear it for you.

"I want the part of you that you refuse to give to anyone."

sixpenceee:

my mom’s like why are you awake at 3am and im like why are you so obsessed with me

(Source: sixpenceee)

i want to sleep for 2 years and wake up with a degree, an apartment and money in the bank.

guy:

yeah baby i am an ANIMAL in bed. more specifically a koala. i can sleep for 22 hours a day

(Source: guy)

zeeday:

timmypuddin:

*picks the hottest cashier at the grocery store*

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(Source: timmyturntner)